Comes and Goes
by obliviousworlds
Summary: "One down, Dean." The words come out of his friend's mouth, but Dean isn't quite ready to face something he buried all these years ago. Rated for sexual themes.


"One down, Dean."

The words stream through his head, making him dizzy as he tries to process what his friend, that's sitting right in front of him, is trying to tell him.

"One what?" He asks, shaking his head a little.

He's left Sam off in another state without telling him. It's been two days and Dean still ignores Sam calls whenever his phone rings. He knows he's gotta be pretty worried, but there are more important things going on right now.

"Jace..." Dean starts up again, and his friend's lips form a hard line. "One what?"

Jace closes his eyes and sighs. "One... Robert Doval." He forces out, but he's smiling as soon as the name escapes his mouth.

But Dean reacts different. He swallows hard as fear fills his stomach all over again. The thought of his past coming back up on him scares him, and he really doesn't want to face the one thing he buried all those years ago.

He's back in his motel room when he hears the faint swoosh noise. He turns around and isn't surprised to see Cas standing in the middle of the room, staring back at him confused.

It makes him smile.

"Sam send you?" Dean asks and sits down on the bed, crossing his arms to keep some warmth inside his body in the chilly room.

"He was worried," The angel tells him, and glances around the room. "Any particular reason you fled your brother?"

Dean thinks for a moment. He could tell the truth, but that's just going to bring up old memories he's just not ready to face yet, and he's especially not going to do it here.

"No reason I want to share right now." Dean tells him, sinking lower into the bed.

Cas nods. "Very well. I'm sure he'll be pleased to know that your safe."

"Are you leaving now?" Dean asks, looking back up at him.

"I see no other reason to stay."

Dean glances around the room and pats the spot on the mattress next to him. "You should stay anyways. I'll call Sam later."

Castiel stares at the spot on the bed, before looking back up at his friend. "Are you going to tell me what's bothering you?"

Dean shakes his head, but smiles when Cas climbs into bed with him. He curls up against his side and sighs when he feels the angel put his arm around him.

"This alright?"

"It's perfect." Dean says, right before he falls in a sleep filled with nightmares he can't escape.

* * *

When Dean wakes up, it's the next day and it's still pretty early in the morning. He comes to realize that he's laying on top of his angel, arms wrapped tightly around his waist.

"Good morning, Dean."

Dean raises his head and smiles at Cas staring back at him before he rolls off of him and takes his place back on the other side of the bed.

"You could have woke me up, or pushed me off of you." He says and yawns, running his hand through his hair.

"I saw no reason to." Is Cas's answer. He sits up himself and glances over at his friend, stopping when Dean starts to get uncomfortable with it.

"Cas...stop. Please."

And it comes out in a plea and Cas doesn't think he's ever heard Dean say please to him. He looks away and lets a sigh escape his mouth. "You were restless all night."

Dean runs a shaky hand over his face. He told Cas he didn't want to get into this right now, so why the fuck does he keep pushing the subject? He doesn't want to recall the fucking nightmares he had so why can't he just leave it?

"Sam's coming. He caught a bus."

Dean looks back over at him. "You interrogate me like that and then just change the subject by telling me Sam is coming?"

Cas shrugs. "You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to. I'll be here though, if you do."

Dean puts his face in his hands and sighs. When he looks back up, Cas is gone and out of sight.

His phone buzzes on the table beside him. He reaches for it and flips it open and reads the message, expecting it to be from Sam, but it's from Jace.

_Meet me later on. I've got Jake with me, you'll understand once we explain._

Dean doesn't reply, he throws his phone against the wall and lays back on the bed. This wasn't supposed to happen, this was supposed to be all put behind him and it was never supposed to resurface.

And especially not like this.

"Here, I got some food." Sam is saying an hour later when he walks through the door of the motel room. Dean smiles at him because Sam looks like a worried mother. He might as well be. He did leave him hanging.

"Thanks." Dean answers and goes about picking apart his breakfast sandwhich, not really eating. He glances up as Sam takes a seat across from him at the table.

"So, Minnesota huh?" He says, not taking his eyes off of his brother. "You just in the mood to visit Pastor Jim or something?"

Dean shakes his head. "Does it matter?"

"Of course it matters! You took off in the middle of the night and I had _no _idea where the fuck you even went!" Sam shouts and throws his hands up. "I'm your _brother_, you need to tell me when you leave and especially when you plan on leaving the fucking state!"

"I'm fine." Dean tells him and takes a small bite of the sandwhich.

"That's a lie. Cas told me something is up with you."

"Yeah? Well it's nothing you need to worry about."

"I always worry about you, Dean." Sam says, and it comes out in a broken sentence that makes Dean wince. "You were fine in Wisconsin, so what's the big deal now?"

Dean sets the food down and shares his gaze with his brother. Fucking hell, he didn't want to do this here, and he didn't want to do it this way. Where the hell was Cas when you needed him anyways?

"You remember my friends I used to hang out with up here whenever dad would drop us off with Pastor Jim while he hunted?" Dean asks.

Sam thinks for a moment before nodding. Yeah, he remembered them alright. He remembered how much trouble Dean used to get into with them. He was never really a fan of them for that reason.

"I had to see them." Dean admits, digging his hands into his legs. "Just...something came up. I had to see them. I saw Jace yesterday, I'm meeting up with him and Jake here in a bit." He glances at his watch, then back up at Sam.

"Why? Is something wrong?" Sam asks, worried.

Dean puts his hand up. "It's nothing you need to worry about." He tells him and grabs his jacket, shaking his head when Sam makes a move to follow him. "Please, Sam. I'll be back, I'll be back later and we can talk more. I promise." He calls out the door, making a dead run for the impala.

Once he's inside, he closes his eyes and tries to control his breathing. He takes out his phone and texts his friend back and tells him that he's coming before he pulls out onto the road.

"It's gonna be alright." He whispers to himself, over and over as he drives.

But he's not even sure if he's telling himself the truth.

* * *

_It's just how I'm starting out, it'll all make more sense later. _


End file.
